Maybe One Day
by mushuthedragon
Summary: Blaine can't handle not being in Kurt's life anymore. This has been submitted before, but accidentally got deleted. TRIGGER WARNING: character death, mentions of suicide and self-harm.


It's been five years now.  
Five years since the day that he and Kurt had broken up. Five years which had seemed like a life time.  
But that didn't matter, it only mattered how Kurt felt. If Kurt was happy, he was happy, or at least... that's what he thought.  
Blaine was broken. He has missed all of his classes; he hasn't even left his house since the wedding day two months ago. Hell, he hasn't even spoken since the wedding...although...a simple and empty "congratulations" wouldn't really be considered speaking either.  
He was alone.  
Blaine had been sitting in his apartment alone for the past two months. He has stopped talking, eating or sleeping. Blaine had stopped living. He had spent the past two months sitting on a dusty, empty wooden floor, (now drinking from his fifth, cold bottle of wine) staring at a framed photo of the one and only person that he could ever love...Kurt.  
The room was empty and silent; the only noise coming from it was the sobs from Blaine's forlorn body and the soft ticking of the clock. 3am. The apartment seemed to grow darker every day, slowly consuming all the happiness inside of it.  
It was his own fault, thought Blaine, if only he had not said those hurtful, cruel words that haunt him to this day, "I don't love you anymore." He never even meant it; he was scared, upset and confused. But Kurt never gave him another chance to explain himself...however, Blaine didn't expect him to. Blaine hated himself for what he had said.  
He had held out for Kurt, in hope that maybe one day, they could become what they once were. But Kurt's marriage had shattered that dream once and for all. Now, there was nothing, only hurt and grief. Life without Kurt...it was nothing. Nothing compared to what they could have been. Nothing compared to what they were.  
His bottle was empty, he solemnly realised, before reaching for another. As he did so, his stretched out arm revealed millions of small, horizontal, swollen gashes that he had given himself that morning. They were beautiful, oh, so beautiful; but did not compare to the beauty of his one and only love.  
How could he face the world? He hadn't been socialising for months, he couldn't suddenly return now, after all that he had missed, after all that he had forgotten.  
As the night carried on, Blaine's mind became a blur and all that was around him became nothing but a misty fog. He recalled one night, dancing in the rain with Kurt; he told him he loved him. Kurt said he loved him back. That was the happiest moment of his life, but suddenly it disappeared, he felt the darkness enclose around him.  
He heard the argument of five years ago being recited in his mind, echoing through his thoughts.

~  
"You know, sometimes you are just too protective of me, Kurt." shouted Blaine, his face turning a dark shade of red from anger.  
"I'm just trying to help you Blaine, you obviously don't understand what the lecturer was saying. Come here, let me explai- " Kurt said calmly, not expecting Blaine to storm out of the room to the top of the staircase.  
"Stop trying to be so dominant. You always want to be in control, you never let me do anything on my own. How am I ever meant to be independent if you keep towering over me like I'm some lost, sick puppy!"  
"Blaine, you are being ridiculous. I'm only trying to help you. Why are you being like this?" questioned Kurt, wiping a single tear from his face.  
"Like what, Kurt? What am I being like? I am not being like anything; it's you who's being so...so...dramatic, so idiotic. You're being completely overbearing. It's really pissing me off."  
"I am not being dramatic, you need to understand what the lecturer said, you need to pass those exams if you ever want to get a real job. How could I possibly be the one at fault here? I'm just trying to help you; it's for the bes-"  
And that's when it happened; he said it.  
"I don't love you anymore."  
"W-what?' asked Kurt, as another tear ran down his cheek.  
"Y-you heard me, I don't love you anymore."Blaine said bluntly, a bit unsure of what he was saying.  
There was a long pause, they both stood there, frozen.  
"I'm not going to put up with your crap anymore. You don't care for me, only for yourself. I'm leaving you." said Blaine, finding his strength again.  
Without another word, Blaine descended the staircase, packed his bags and left.

It all came racing back at Blaine, his head throbbing with pain. It was all getting too much for him. He couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He didn't know why he had even bothered, he had no chance with Kurt; he was with someone else now, someone that he deserved.  
Blaine stood up; stumbling across the living room where they once had loved, now empty and cold. He tripped over an empty bottle and fell on the broken glass, cutting open his palms. His heart was racing. He could barely see anymore, he felt like he was drowning in an ocean full of his own tears.  
Now crawling, he made his way to the kitchen, threw open a cabinet and selected a white bottle. With the bottle of wine in the one hand, and the pills in the other, he downed each pill after another until there was nothing left. His thoughts became twisted and foggy.  
Blaine suddenly forgot where he was, his mind dwelling in past thoughts. He suddenly had an overwhelming desire to hear Kurt's voice again, one last time.  
Pulling himself into an upright position, he managed to slide his phone out from his pocket. He dialled the number that had been on speed dial for the past seven years of his life, the only remaining number on his phone.  
"Hello? Who is this? Blaine...is it you? It's three in the morning." said the voice of an angel, singing down from heaven, the pain clenched at Blaine's heart.  
"Mhm-ahh...K-Kurt," said Blaine, sounding somewhat confused. He could feel his body becoming numb as he held the phone closer to his ear, "...Kurt...I just wante-, I just wanted you to know..." he managed to spit out while gasping for another breath.  
"Blaine? What's wrong? Where are you?" the angel sang, sounding more beautiful than ever before, his words echoing in Blaine's mind.  
"...I wanted you t-to know-w that, that I love you K-Kurt...I never stopped loving you." Blaine said triumphantly, waiting for a reply.  
"Blaine, what? What's happening, are you okay?" the angel's voice sung yet again.  
"I-I just want-t-ted you to know b-before..." Blaine paused, "...before I..."  
"Blaine, answer me! Where are you? Before you what?"  
"I'll always be with you, K-Kurt...al-l-ways-s" Blaine's voice slurred.  
Pain, sorrow, empty promises escaped from his mind...his head throbbing like never before. He collapsed completely and dropped the phone, letting it shatter into a million pieces.  
Hurt, despair, the angel's voice...all ringing in his mind...until...  
Nothing. It was all gone. He was gone.  
He was nothing.


End file.
